Co-parenting after a New Mexico divorce isn’t always blissful. Sometimes, it’s not even civil. Many parents are still recovering from the emotional fallout and stress of separation and divorce and have to now adjust to the challenges of raising children across two different homes. However, there are ways you can help alleviate some of the worry and stress co-parents experience at the start of this new arrangement. Here are three approaches you can try today.
Use some helpful tools
Communication between parents can be a sticking point early on, so try using communication tools to reduce the conflict between you and your co-parent instead of escalating it. How you speak with your ex-partner or spouse is naturally going to be different from how you spoke to him or her when you were still together, so your old ways of communicating might not work. Instead of worrying about an email or text getting lost on its way to your ex, try parenting schedule software. This type of software or app is a messaging platform you and your co-parent can use exclusively to discuss your children. There are many different types available, so look for the one that has the features you need. Your divorce attorney can provide recommendations for the ones the Courts in New Mexico use. Some offer calendars you can share with your co-parent for your child’s schedule, medical appointment reminders, shared expense logs and more.
Focus on your responsibilities
The new duties you received upon your divorce can seem overwhelming at first, but staying on top of your obligations will help keep the communication between you and your ex more civil. When you avoid information exchanges or necessary interactions with your co-parent because of conflict, it can exacerbate the negativity of the entire situation. Stay organized and on top of all your obligations so you can help prevent instances of unnecessary conflict with your ex because a child’s appointment was missed or he or she wasn’t picked up on time.
Always come prepared
Disputes can pop up at any time, and when you are prepared for this, you have a better shot at correcting how you are communicating. You’ll also notice when a conversation starts to go south so you can take action before it turns into an all-out conflict. It is ideal to keep working on how you and your co-parent communicate with each other so your discussions are effective and productive with minimal conflict.
However, if you find that you’re not able to speak to your ex at all, you may want to consider bringing in some outside help. Individual or even divorced couple counseling can help you work through the issues you’re having so you will get better at communicating with each other. You can also use a trusted third party in some instances, but only if the both of you agree on the person and it’s just for the short term. In the long run, you need to be able to share information with and speak to your co-parent civilly for the sake of your children, so a third party will not be a permanent solution.
As a parent, you will always worry about your kids and wonder if you’re making the right decisions for them and for your family. While your co-parenting will never be entirely free of worry, you can take steps to ensure how you communicate with your co-parent can ease your anxieties instead of making them worse. When anxiety mounts, you can easily become overwhelmed, and that can derail the creation of a positive co-parent relationship. Use the approaches above to help you and your co-parent move toward a partnership that is conflict-free, which is the best solution for everyone involved.