There are many things that people think of when going through a divorce, but a very common element is the feeling of being trapped. You may feel trapped in a tough situation now and think that the same will apply after the divorce. While some people do find divorce gives them freedom and an exit strategy, other people find themselves feeling suffocated by elements of divorce law in Santa Fe, including the parenting plan or settlement agreement terms.
If you feel trapped by your divorce, you are certainly not alone. Many people find themselves in the exact same situation, and the reason is likely not you. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to help draft your own exit strategy for your divorce.
Make the Active Decision to Not Feel Trapped
How long do you think you may be at the mercy of this situation? If you have young children, for example, it may be years, as it is unlikely you will be able to make a major move to another state or country while your ex has rights to your children. After all, both parents have the right to love and spend time with their children.
If this is your reality, it is time to commit to playing the cards you have been dealt. Being angry at or continually frustrated by this situation will do nothing but waste your time and may negatively affect your children, so actively working toward having the best mindset during this period of your life is extremely important, although it may be very difficult.
Figure Out Your Role
Divorce is generally a two-way street. Your role in what led to the divorce may be passive or extremely small, but you were likely a player in some capacity nevertheless. “Fault” is not a consideration in divorce in New Mexico, but on a personal level it may be useful to evaluate your role and ex’s role in the divorce. It is possible that things just changed and there was nothing you could have done to foresee the turn of events, but it is always worth self-evaluating to see if you missed any red flags. If you don’t get to the root of your past mistakes, you may have a hard time healing from them or be doomed to repeat them.
Do Something Really Different
How does life look now, from your new point of view? What have you always wanted to do but felt like you couldn’t in your marriage? Maybe it is finally time to get that training or education you wanted and go into a completely different career direction. That business you have been dreaming about starting could now be on the table. On a smaller scale, you could have time to look into that hobby or activity you are interested in but never had the focus or time for before.
Whether it is big or small, it is time to make a real change in your life. When you are divorcing, you are essentially starting a new life, so you shouldn’t let the fears or other burdens of your old life hold you back. Divorce is a new beginning.
Everyone experiences divorce differently, but there tend to be some common themes. Just about every other divorced person you encounter will likely have a story in which they felt trapped, cheated or fleeced. If you feel trapped, it’s time to let yourself out of the cage using the steps above. Divorce brings many things with it, but not all of them are bad. You can experience profound freedom on an emotional level and freedom from things that brought about profound pain, such as adultery, addiction or abuse. Stop giving over your energy to things you cannot control or change. Instead, be open to the possibility that your divorce can help propel you into a brighter future.