Going through a divorce or a separation in New Mexico often changes a lot about a person’s life, and it can seem as if the enjoyable parts of your life have been frozen at home and socially. It can be tough to deal with all the changes happening at once, and it’s vital that you work through your more complicated and difficult feelings before you commit to moving forward. Nevertheless, having a good social life can help you get through this emotional time, so consider these four tips for reclaiming your social life post-divorce.
Take it slow
Getting your social life back after a divorce isn’t something that will – or should – happen overnight. To move on in a healthy way, you’ll need to be able to work through your emotions and grieve the end of your relationship. If you don’t do these things, you may drag emotional baggage into your new life and won’t be able to fully enjoy it with a clean slate. Talk to your friends or a professional, such as a counselor or therapist, about your feelings to get them out there. Let yourself go through those emotions in a healthy way, and once you’re prepared, you can move forward and into your new social life.
Accept that change is okay
Once you’ve separated or divorced, you may notice that things have not just changed about your life but about yourself as a person, too. You may just find you’re not the same person anymore and that you have different desires and needs when it comes to your life. Accepting your new sense of self is completely okay. Sometimes, changes are what help you find the strength to move forward, and this could mean things like re-establishing lost friendships or making new friends. You may not keep all the same friends you had when you were married, but that’s also not necessarily a bad thing.
Consider new ideas
As part of starting a new social life, keep yourself open to trying new things and exploring new ideas. Maybe you’ve wanted to travel to a new place or take a class about a topic you were always interested in, and now is the time. Perhaps you want a wild new haircut or you’d like to overhaul your style. Don’t be afraid to explore ideas that make you feel happy, as long as those ideas are healthy and won’t have an extremely negative impact on your physical or emotional health.
Keep the focus where it belongs
Post-divorce, it’s perfectly fine to place some focus on yourself. Listening to your own needs, wants and desires is necessary if you want to move forward. If you have children, however, your focus should be on them first. Their needs and their well-being should always be at the top of your mind whenever you make decisions, especially big changes like dating someone or starting a new relationship. This does not mean that you should not ever date someone new because you’re concerned about how your children will be impacted, only that you should consider them and accommodate their feelings as necessary.
Getting your social life back after you divorce will take time, but it is a process that you can enjoy. After you have allowed yourself to grieve what’s in the past, keep your focus on the future. Stay open to change as you try new things and meet some new people, and always keep in mind that you can take it as slowly as you need to. There is no deadline for getting back into your social life after you divorce, so don’t rush yourself.