When your marriage is ending, you’re dealing with a lot of things at once. Emotions, logistics, major decisions, and more are all parts of this process. Since there’s so much going on, it’s easy to lose perspective.
As you prepare or go through your divorce in New Mexico, here are some important things you must keep in mind.
Don’t Have a “Winning” Mindset
Many people go into their divorce with the idea that they will “beat” their spouse. In reality, divorce isn’t about losing or winning. Chances are neither you nor your spouse will walk away with everything you wanted.
Instead of having a “winner” or “loser” mindset, consider the potential consequences of a court battle. It’s likely that would be expensive and take a toll on you and your family. Get yourself into a “compromise” mindset so you can successfully use out-of-court options to settle the divorce. Your family law attorney will evaluate your case and discuss all of your resolution options so you know which routes are available for you and your spouse to try.
Mull Over the Important Decisions First
You’ll make more than one life-changing decision in your divorce. You might, for example, have to decide whether to sell your family home or who should get an important family heirloom. If you have children, there are many important decisions to be made regarding them as well, including where they will live.
With these types of major decisions, it’s important you resist the urge to make a fast choice just to get it over with. Always consider the pros and cons of each major decision carefully before you make your final choice, and run through the potential consequences in your mind so you have an idea of what your decisions may bring.
Take Advice From Other Divorced People With a Grain of Salt
Other people in your life who have gone through a divorce are probably more than happy to give you advice about several aspects of your case. Regardless of how well-meaning they are, the advice you get from other divorced people might be misleading or just plain wrong.
Each divorce has its own unique set of issues, so what happens in one divorce might not happen in another. It’s also never a wise idea to base your decisions on the experiences of someone else. Instead, work with a family law attorney and rely on their help and advice instead. Other professionals, such as a therapist or financial consultant, may also be able to assist you.
Keep the Big Picture in Mind
It’s easy to dwell on all the negative things your spouse did during your marriage. After all, the marriage didn’t work out, and you’re left feeling hurt, sad, and angry all at once.
Living in the past, however, will prevent you from moving on in your life. It could also lead to you making the wrong decisions for your family – decisions you will come to regret later.
Let the past go and keep an eye on your future instead–after all, you will have your own new life post-divorce to build up from the ground anew. Approach your divorce with a mind that’s open to everything. Be willing to work with your spouse toward the best possible outcome for your family. An open mindset can help you avoid the emotional and financial cost of a prolonged battle with your spouse.
Filing for divorce and going through the process isn’t easy. It’s emotional and can be frustrating and difficult at times. However, you can use the tips above to help lessen the sting of your situation.