Can Your Marriage Be Saved?

Marriage is not always easy. There are times when even the strongest couples question their relationship and its long-term viability. Children and the escalating cost of everyday essentials will put a strain on every relationship, and it often only takes a small additional stressor for life as a couple to feel overwhelming. Before you rush to file the divorce papers, take some time to consider whether you can (and want to) overcome the challenges that you are facing and work together with your spouse to make your marriage stronger.

Why you may want to save your marriage

If you have enjoyed a happy marriage so far and the problems you are facing are not insurmountable or unforgivable (for example: domestic abuse or infidelity), you may wish to invest in your marriage and try to salvage it rather than calling it a day. Although times may be hard right now, when you and your spouse work together, you may be able to overcome the challenging times and enjoy the satisfaction of emerging at the other end a stronger and more bonded couple.

Divorce can be an expensive and time-consuming process. If you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to budgeting and financial control, you may be able to find a solution to your financial troubles, and it does not necessarily have to be divorce.

You may wish to save your marriage for the sake of your children. Perhaps you feel that co-parenting would be too difficult, you want to spare them any emotional disturbance or you don’t wish to uproot them from some location or lifestyle. Although it is essential that you consider the needs of your children, it is not always the case that staying married to avoid the divorce itself is the best option for yourself or your children.

Identify and overcome the challenges you face

The first and most important step is to tell your spouse how you are feeling and attempt to communicate the issues affecting your marriage. This will give you a good indication of whether the marriage is worth saving. If you collaboratively decide to save your marriage, you will need to agree on a strategy to do so.

Identify the root cause of your issues. If financial concerns are the reason for your relationship hitting a rocky patch, spend time reviewing your joint income and outgoings and look for ways to address the financial issues. Are there any bills you can reduce or eliminate, or ways in which you can increase your income? You may wish to check whether you are eligible for financial assistance grants [1] or ask the New Mexico Human Services Department [2] for advice.

You and your spouse need to commit to overcoming challenges together, so make sure to dedicate the time that is needed to identifying the root cause of your relationship problems and making a plan to overcome it.

Marriage counseling is an option

You may feel that you are unable to have an honest discussion with your spouse on a one-on-one basis. In this case, marriage counseling can be very beneficial. A professional counselor can provide you with a safe space in which to talk and help keep your conversation on track if either of you feel uncomfortable discussing personal aspects of your relationship. They can help to create a productive environment in which issues can be aired and resolutions can be made.

Marriage counselors are expert communicators with strong conflict resolution skills, so do not be afraid to seek their assistance if you feel you cannot have the conversation effectively by yourself.

Legal advice and the divorce process

If your attempts at reconciliation are unsuccessful or not worth attempting, you will need the support of a law firm that handles divorce law in Albuquerque.

Your lawyer will represent you throughout the divorce process, from initially filing the divorce petition to negotiating settlements and representing you in court if the need arises. Your lawyer will fight for your rights and help you secure the financial settlement and child custody arrangements that you desire and are entitled to.

If you do not want to or cannot save your relationship and decide that divorce is the best route, the Law Office of Dorene A. Kuffer is here to help you, offering legal advice and guiding you through the divorce process.