Many divorces start off amicable, but then they seem to turn ugly out of nowhere. It’s like being on a roller coaster ride that goes from zero to 100 when you are least expecting it.
If you believe your divorce is going to be amicable but still have concerns, learn some of the common reasons that divorce goes from reasonable to contentious. You can also talk to your attorney for advice on how to keep your divorce as civil as possible.
One Person Begins Dating
One spouse starting to date before the divorce is final can cause a spark of angry emotions. This is still true even if the person dating isn’t the one who initially wanted the divorce. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but the emotions involved in a divorce are complex and can cause some unexpected reactions and feelings.
It’s generally best to leave dating openly off of the table until your divorce is final. The extra wait is usually more than worth it given the number of problems you may be able to avoid.
Gossip Comes Into Play
If one spouse learns the other spouse cheated during the marriage, it can inject a lot of angry emotions into the divorce process. Unfortunately, people talk, so it’s very possible an unsuspecting spouse may learn of an indiscretion after the divorce was filed.
If you cheated on your spouse, there’s nothing you can do about it now, and arguing with your spouse about it will likely only make matters tenser. Should you discover your spouse cheated on you, the same advice applies. It can’t be undone, and allowing your emotions to take control of your divorce could leave you with an outcome you’re not satisfied with.
Family and Friends Become Negative
As a way of showing support or out of genuine truth, family members or friends of one spouse may start openly talking about how much they did not like the other spouse. The person divorcing hears these comments from people they trust and becomes resentful, believing they should feel more anger toward their soon-to-be-ex than they currently do.
In reality, you are the person divorcing, so your own feelings toward your ex are the only ones you should handle. If your friends and relatives are badmouthing your ex, let them know that you really don’t want to hear that right now. There’s nothing to be gained from injecting more negativity into your case.
One Person Becomes Unhappy
If one spouse becomes unhappy due to something in their lives, such as their job or a new relationship, they may focus that frustration and anger onto their soon-to-be-ex. This is because the person they are divorcing is essentially an easy target; they are no longer with this person but are still bound together by the legal process.
While there is nothing you can do to avoid this, you can reduce the impact on you by limiting communication with your spouse and controlling your response to the negative things they say and do. When your ex fails to get a rise out of you, so to speak, they will eventually stop trying.
It can be very upsetting when a friendly divorce turns into an ugly one. While you may not be able to prevent your divorce from going from amicable to angry, you can limit its effect on you by keeping your emotions out of the process as best as you can. Work with your attorney to handle your divorce case and treat your divorce like a business so you make the best possible decisions.