Mistakes to Avoid During Your Divorce

When you’re considering a New Mexico divorce, it can be difficult to factor in all the angles involved. Between the legal aspects and all the emotion divorce often brings to the surface, many people end up making mistakes during the proceedings that cost them down the line. While you may be well aware of some missteps to avoid–such as running up new debt on shared accounts–there are some other mistakes people often make during a divorce that are not so obvious.

Trying to Correct Past Wrongs

It’s very easy to get caught up in the mistakes that were made during the relationship and ultimately led to the divorce. In New Mexico, divorces are “no fault,” so the court does not care if your spouse cheated or treated your poorly. Some behaviors, such as abuse and substance abuse, could come into play in areas such as child custody, but overall, there’s no point in trying to correct the wrongs of past. If you get caught up in this mindset, you will lose sight of the other areas of your divorce.
Along the same lines are unrealistic expectations, believing that you will get all you want without any compromises. Although this is understandable after you’ve been hurt, any exaggerated demands could lead to a more painful and drawn-out process overall. For a smoother experience, you’ll need to be realistic and focus more problem-solving than payback or vindication. This may also lead to a better overall outcome for you as you won’t be so focused on getting your spouse back and will instead be weighing the matters at hand.

Failing to Meet Deadlines

Once your case is officially filed, deadlines will be set by the court. Not answering requests for discovery information or failing to produce required documents will just drag the whole process out and could even lead to you being held in contempt of court. Your attorney can’t provide documents to the court that they don’t have. Of course, it can be hard to think about getting everything together when you’re dealing with the emotional and logistical upheaval caused by such a significant life event, but you will still have to handle it. Get yourself organized right away so you have all the documents your attorney will need, including financial papers.

Getting the Wrong Lawyer

Family law is complex, so having a family law attorney with experience in divorce is important. While you may think a lawyer with an aggressive reputation is the way to go, it can have a negative impact on your divorce, too. If the process becomes antagonistic, it’s likely to last longer and cost you more financially and emotionally. Go with an attorney who gives you all your options and whose first tactic isn’t litigation.

Listening to Friends and Family a Little Too Much

This is your life. While turning to your friends and family for advice is only natural, they are not going to be the ones living with the consequences of any decisions you make. You ultimately know what you need to do to move forward in your life. Listen to your attorney, who has experience in this area, to help you decide which matters you can settle and which ones may need court intervention. Your family and friends, while well-meaning, may not have ever liked your spouse or may be angry with them because you are hurt, and this can lead to advice that isn’t ultimately in your best interest. Invest time and money in speaking with a therapist or counselor during this time.
It’s easy to see how people make mistakes in a divorce in hindsight. Avoid costly or stressful mistakes during your divorce by considering the tips above in addition to the well-known don’ts of the process.