Common Myths About Adoption

Adopting a new child in New Mexico can be an exciting and trying time. It’s exciting because you are growing your family, but trying since the process can be complex and long. Having an experienced family law attorney on your side for an adoption goes a long way, and so does the level of your own knowledge. When you are considering adopting, be sure you’re no longer being misled by believing some very common myths surrounding it.

All Adoptions Occur Locally

Adopting from within New Mexico is one way to go, but you can also work with a national adoption agency. National agencies often have lower wait times and fall under more regulations than local ones. Since a national agency will work with potential birth mothers across the country, there are simply more children in need of homes through such agencies.

All Birth Mothers Are Teens

Many women considering adoption for their babies are in a wide age range, from 16 to 40 years old, according to Considering Adoption ( There are many reasons a woman might decide adoption is best for her baby. A single mother may prefer that her child is in a two-parent home or simply can’t afford a child, especially if she already has children she is raising. Sometimes, a mother may not feel she is ready to be a parent but wants her child to be raised by someone who is. Regardless of age and background, a birth mother is very likely choosing adoption because she has decided it’s the best thing for her baby.

Most Adoptions Are Closed

In a closed adoption, the information about the birth parents is kept private. The adopting parent or parents and the adoptee may receive very little or no information about the birth parents. This was fairly common in the past, but many modern adoptions are open or semi-open. Research carried out on closed adoptions found they tend to have a negative impact on the adoptee and the birth parents, which is why open adoptions are now more common. This does not mean you will be required to be in constant contact with the birth parents post-adoption, however. The openness of an adoption is done on a scale that’s agreed upon between the birth parents and the adopting parents.

The Birth Mother Will Take the Child Back

This particular myth is very persistent, likely due to its use in media and a few famous cases in the news over the years. Birth parents rarely have the ability to “take a child back” after an adoption, and most do not want to. When a birth parent has placed a child up for adoption, it’s a very emotional process, but they’ve done so because they absolutely believe it’s the best thing for their baby. They’ve made this decision knowing that it will bring pain, but they feel the outcome is worth it.
In addition, the legal reality is that once the birth parents have signed the formal consent to adoption after the waiting period required by the state, their parental rights have been terminated. After the final adoption decree is issued around six months later–time frame varies by case and area–the adopting parents receive parental rights and the decision becomes a permanent one. Your attorney will ensure all requirements have been met and legal documents have been handled properly to avoid any problems with the adoption down the road.
If you are ready to begin the process of adoption, it’s important to have strong legal guidance and advice along the way. Contact an experienced adoption attorney to get started on the journey to growing your family.