A divorce is more than just a legal process. It’s the end of a relationship and also a death of sorts–the life you had imagined with your spouse and the life you were living as a couple is now gone, and all you are left with is memories.
As you work with your divorce attorney to settle all of the issues involved in your case, it’s also important to take steps to begin healing yourself from the experience. Here are six ways you can start to heal from your divorce.
Admit What Is Happening
It’s tough to start the healing process if you can’t admit that you are hurting or upset. When you deny how you feel, it will stop you from beginning the journey to your post-divorce life. Remember that’s it fine to accept the fact that you’re not feeling okay, so you can do what you need to do to move on.
Allow Yourself to Experience Emotions
Divorce, as mentioned above, can be like a death of sorts. You might have been told to just “get over it,” but that’s really not the best advice and certainly not something you’d say to a person who just lost a loved one.
To begin healing, you have to allow yourself to feel. If you don’t handle your feelings properly, you could turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that just end up harming you more.
Take Care of Yourself
A breakup can lead you to stop taking care of yourself properly. You might find yourself in bed most of the day, eating a lot of junk food, drinking, not working out, staying away from loved ones, and just not handling your daily life. This is common, but you can work through it and get yourself back on track.
Create a very simple routine–nothing overwhelming–to get yourself moving again, even if you don’t really feel up to it. This will help you get your energy back and develop some new momentum.
Do Things You Love
Relationships sometimes call for compromises and sacrifices, and you may find that you stopped doing something you loved when you were married because of that. Think about what you used to really enjoy doing but no longer do; it might be time to pick that back up. If there’s something you always wanted to do but never did, consider trying it now.
Create a Support System
It’s easy to be vulnerable during a divorce, and you might not even realize it. Keeping this in mind, create a support system of people you can really trust and confide it. Advice that will not help you move forward is not what you need right now, so make sure your system is full of healthy friends and family members who will support you during this time. It’s not about how many people are in your support system: it’s about who those people are as individuals.
Get Professional Help
Accountability is necessary for growth, and you may struggle in this area on your own. Consider working with a therapist to help you see what happened, build some resilience, work on your new goals, and gain a new perspective on life. While you may have great friends to talk to about the divorce, hearing from an impartial third party can really give you some valuable insight.
Ultimately, how well you heal from your divorce will set the tone in your new post-divorce life. Keep the tips above in mind as you work through your divorce so you can set yourself up for the best chance of having a successful, healthy life after your divorce.