The decision to become a parent is one of the most involved and difficult decisions a couple can make in their life. In an LGBTQ+ relationship or marriage, you have your own unique list of considerations and responsibilities to add to your family plan. Regardless, this shouldn’t get in the way of introducing children into your life if that’s what you and your partner want. To help you begin your planning, we’ve put together a list of the five vital considerations you need to keep in mind before starting your family. With this, you’ll have the foundation you need to take the next step.
Think About Your Support System
It may sound like putting the cart before the horse, but it’s important to consider who is going to be there to help you when you and your family need it most. Ask yourself honest questions to decide with your partner how involved your parents and applicable family members will be and if you have any friends or family with children that could provide recommendations, playdates, or anything else that could come up. When you know who’s going to be there for you, it will be easier to feel confident moving forward.
Consider How You Want to Have a Child
In an LGBTQ+ relationship, you have plenty of options on how you’d like to introduce a child into your family. For same sex couples, your most common avenues are adoption, surrogacy or assisted reproduction. With surrogacy, you may be able to choose who will provide their reproductive cells or, in some circumstances, whether you’d like to go with an anonymous donor. On the other hand, adoption has a variety of options, open or closed adoptions, domestic or international, private or public, and many more. Assisted reproduction can be useful if one partner would like to carry the child in their own body.
Research New Mexico Law & Know Your LGBTQIA+ Parenting Rights
New Mexico is one state that not only recognizes LGBTQIA+ marriages but also their right to start a family. So, no matter how you decide to have your child, you can raise your child knowing that you have the full protection of the law on your side. In our state, there are several options to consider. Family Law is a complex field, especially in a same-sex relationship, so go into it with an expert from the Kuffer Law team in your corner.
Get Familiar with Your Finances & Start Budgeting
It’s no secret that starting a family and raising children is an expensive process, but how quickly the costs accumulate surprises eager parents. Just to get your family started, consider the financial aspect behind your chosen process, whether that’s assisted reproduction, adoption, or another avenue.
Once your child has arrived, prepare to account for each diaper, back to school shopping trip, first car, and allowance before you’re caught off guard. Many couples create a Parenting Budget Plan before anything else to decide if building a family is financially possible for them. If that sounds overwhelming, start with a budget that details expenses through the first year of your child’s life, then work from there.
Find an LGBTQ Family Law Attorney to Write Your Living Trust or Will
Thinking about your mortality is a dark concept to include in the cheerful conversation of starting a family. However, if you want to provide for your children and potential widow, you must have a plan for the hopefully far, far future. By creating the proper legal documentation, you can look after the family you’ve built and ensure that they have what they need to be legally protected after you’re gone.
No matter how you choose to start your family in your LGBTQ+ relationship, make sure you lay groundwork that will serve you now and when you send your children off to college. When you’re ready to take the next step, request a meeting with the Law Office of Dorene A. Kuffer and our team will help you set up everything you need to start your family. Contact us and we’ll guide you through the legal process as your LGBT family law attorney and bring your child into your life, safely and legally.