When you decide on or begin your divorce or legal separation in New Mexico, one of your more immediate concerns is likely where you are going to live. More and more people these days choose to live together in the family home during the divorce process because it saves money; a second home with its own set of bills can be devastating financially. They also may decide to stay due to advice from a family law professional–once a spouse leaves, it can be more difficult to access the home or assert a claim to it in the property settlement part of the process– or because they do not want to be separated from their kids.
If there is no abuse or domestic violence in your home, you may decide to stay in the family home with your soon-to-be-ex. While staying in the marital home may be the best move for you right now, it can be a stressful experience, so use the tips below to help keep yourself in a healthy mindset.
Work as a Team With the Finances
Since you are saving money when you continue to share the family home, you should make the soundest financial decisions possible to help maximize the benefits of this arrangement. Decide whether bills will be paid out of a joint bank account or if you will each split the bills from your individual accounts. Remember now is not the time for vacations or large purchases, no matter how much you feel like you could use it right now. Your debts and assets are still part of the marital estate, and gaining new debts or wasting any assets could add complications for you in the divorce case.
Always Aim for Civil
When you are splitting up with someone, it’s very likely there are many differences of opinion involved. However, fighting and constant arguments will only make the divorce a more stressful experience–and possibly more expensive, too! When you and your soon-to-be-ex are civil, it will be easier to reach agreements on the major issues in your case without needing the court to intervene. Doing this will likely save time and money because going to court is an expensive last resort in divorce cases. If you constantly fight, your partner or spouse may decide to add wrinkles to the divorce case and stop cooperating, which can end with both of you in front of a judge.
Give Each Other Some Space
Even if you are living under the same roof with your soon-to-be-ex, the two of you are probably beginning to drift apart. This is understandable and entirely normal. To make it easier, you should move into separate rooms if you haven’t done so already. Now is the time to begin cultivating a life outside the marriage, too, and encourage your spouse or partner to do the same. When your marriage is truly over, it’s time to let go of expectations regarding how much time you will spend together and what should happen on certain days.
Of course, don’t be afraid to move or ask your spouse or partner to move if it becomes clear you absolutely cannot live together over time. There is no point in making each other truly miserable as the case progresses, and this can even make things move at a slower pace if it gets in the way of you working together to settle issues.
Many people opt to try living together as they divorce or separate, and there is no right or wrong answer in this situation. If you decide to live with your spouse or partner during your case, just keep in mind how it may impact the outcome.